It’s hard to say what it actually feels like because it’s been such a time consuming process that it’s difficult to reflect on it. Two and a half months ago, when we were first offered our positions, we were planning on renting a storage unit for our “stuff”. Let me rephrase that, we were planning on convincing our parents to let us build a storage unit on their property, to store all of our stuff. How could we possibly get rid of our couches? They are so comfortable! We love our wine cabinet and got such a great deal on it too. And our decorations, that’s what makes our house feel like home. Right?
You know... that stuff.
As time went on and the reality of moving out of the country set in, we began to reassessing and pondering the process of what to do with EVERYTHING. Of course we need to keep things like photo albums and pictures. But, what about the rest of it? Maybe we shouldn’t store all of this and all of that. So, what do we love so much that we can’t part with and can never be replaced?
That became the new question.
As we walked around the house eying everything it contained we noticed that there were very few things that we had a sentimental attachment to. So we began taking inventory and started filling our spare bedroom with the things we would keep. We went through the cabinets and cubbies and all the boxes we’d hauled around for the last 12 years that we've spent our lives together. We found ceramic plates we made in Kindergarten, letters and cards we made for our parents when we were ten, report cards, pictures, art work, our first car keys,a high school class ring, and wedding favors. You name it, it was there. It’s so hard to throw those kinds of things away. I actually found a disintegrated Hershey kiss from a wedding I went to 11 years ago. I kept it. It was part of the favor, and rather than eat it, I kept it and let it decay in a box. What a waste of chocolate!
We added our favorites to the travel memorabilia we’ve picked up along the way, and put the rest in the yard sale pile and recycle bin. Chocolate not included.
This process has continued day by day, week by week, for the last two months. A little here, a little there. Meanwhile, we have been scanning and emailing every that identifies us as us to Macau; passports, our marriage certificates, birth certificates college transcripts and degrees, letters of recommendations and resumes. We've been changing our addresses on everything we are responsible for in the US, calling to change our address on everything because we have no forwarding address, canceling cards and services, and getting authorizations for cards and accounts we'll use overseas.
Just three days ago we were completing the last steps of our purge, yard selling everything we once thought made a house, our home. We sold one of our two cars, and began to move out of our house. As we filled the front lawn and tables and driveway with the mosaic of our household goods and not goods, a weight began to lift off our shoulders, like all the thinks we thought we needed, were no longer what we wanted to need; and that we were finally able to see a physical representation of everything we had been working so hard for for the last five years.
A few people mentioned it was so sad to see all of our stuff being taken away. To us, it wasn’t sad at all. Then, I sold my wedding dress for $1 to a sugar plum fairy. (Seriously, what does that even mean? ) I asked the lady, “What are you going to do with the dress?” I was expecting her to say something romantic like, “I’m going to give it to my daughter for prom” , or, “I’m getting married and it’s perfect!”. Instead, she replied by asking me whether or not I know what a sugar plum fairy was. I lied and said Yes. She told she was one and she was sure she could do something to the dress to make it look like a sugar plum fairy dress.
I cried as she threw it in the backseat of her truck without a second thought. It was then that I realized what was actually emotional was the symbol of our belongings disappearing. On the outside, the shell is exciting and adventurous, independent and worldly, but discover a crack and the depth of change begins to seep in.
So, what did the Domenico’s do one hour before they moved out of their house? We went wine tasting and joined our first wine club, just miles from our old house and just 7 weeks before we’re to move out of the country. Typically, wine club members either pick up their new wines once a quarter, or have them mailed to them. In our case, we can’t do either. The winery is going to hold them for us; just one more tie to our country we love dearly, as if friends and family aren't enough.
This week, home is with our good friends in Truckee, as Adam is finishing up his last 7 days of student teaching. They and their sweet children have opened their homes and heart to us, as they have always done in the past, and as we spend some special time together that we will undoubtedly treasure while we are living across the world.
As the things that we once thought made our house a home are now just memories, it’s occurred to us that a home is a place filled with memories and the love we have for those that are important to us. Last we checked, our memories and emotions are with us all the time.
Wherever we are and where ever we go, we are home.
